woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
