Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize