idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
