I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
