we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
