It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
