Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
