are you so shy because you have an std?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
