I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize