I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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