Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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