Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm going to jail i love you
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
