You work out of a Hotel?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
