Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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