She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize