i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
