I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
