Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
