They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
