These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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