then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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