She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
