i don't like sucking hair
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
