You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
