I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
