this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
