We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
