You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
soo... how was my night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
