an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
