I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
