Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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