So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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