First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize