Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
