hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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