sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My first STD was from a foam party
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
