Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize