We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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