If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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