That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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