There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
