Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Houston, we have a squirter
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
