with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
