I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
