i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She needs sedatives and a leash
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize