we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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