Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize