I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
