I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
