Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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