Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
