Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize