I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize