my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
