I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
