I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
