He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
