Sponge bath it is.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
