Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
