and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so let's talk penis.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
