i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Randomize
