My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize