we have officially lost it.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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