her vagine was all disorganized.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
