i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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