Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize