I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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