his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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