a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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