i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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