This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
