so explain again why im purple
no
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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