please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
