We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
