Fine. I'll sleep in my office
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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