How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
