I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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