If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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