would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
